I apologize.  I'm sorry that I may seem like Debbie Downer lately.  Really, I'm not like that, especially when I've had a healthy does of my favorite happy drug, running.  (I ran a half marathon yesterday and it felt wonderful!  One of the many benefits of living in Austin is the ability to run in Jan. without fear of slipping and breaking an ankle.  I did this once when I was a kid growing up in WI.  It's so not fun wearing a cast and using crutches in the snow and ice.)

I digress.  I decided to take the weekend off from school.  I figured it was worth a try.  I'm all about the pasta theory, right?  Throw enough at the wall and something is bound to stick.  

As I left it Friday, I had emailed my course mentor and basically begged (yes, sadly that's what it's come to) him to give me some blanking resources so that I can figure this stuff out on my own.  Remember?  I'm not one who likes to be given answers.  I learn best if I've had the opportunity to burn my fingers on the hot stove a few times.  I mentioned in the email that I'm panicking because I'm in danger of not finishing all of the courses I need to, before the end of my 6 month term.  I also BCCd Kelly, by student mentor.  I followed that up with an email to Kelly asking her if I was asking the course mentor for something I shouldn't, i.e. are they not allowed to suggest other reading materials?  Am I being too demanding?  We'll see what the answers are from both.  My guess is that they will both ignore my questions.  I have reason to believe this because the course mentor has done this before.  Honestly, I don't want to talk to the dude, I just want to be able to read some other materials and figure it out on my own.  I don't even really care about learning the material at this point.  I just want enough so that I can write something mildly intelligent so it at least sounds like I know what I'm talking about and I can be done with this class once and for all.

I'm not usually very self-confident and I abhor confrontation, but I truly believe that this class, Supply Chain, has some fundamental problems.  These problems will only serve to compound any doubt that people (me) may have about this university and its legitimacy.  I want this degree to be worth something at the end.  Spending $12,000 for a piece of paper that is worthless, is not my idea of fun.  (Yes, running 50 miles is, so what?  Don't judge!)

Forward

If you've read the past few entries of my blog, you'll be aware that I am struggling right now.  Like really struggling.  I've been working on the Supply Chain class for about a month and a half now.  I don't feel like I'm that much farther than I was when I started it back in December.

Here's a list of things I've done:

• Did the simulation, despite not understanding it, hoping something would click.  (It hasn't.)
  
• Read, and re-read the course materials.  (I really don't like academic books.  What is it about polysyllabic words that endear PhDs to them so much?)
• Per the suggestion of the course mentor in his video, I ignored the accounting software that is in the course of study.
• Watched the accounting DVDs.  (They keep crashing on my computer which is incredibly frustrating.  That's not why, however, I didn't get anything out of them.)
• Spoken with my student mentor about this class on a number of occasions.
• Spoken with another course mentor who is also in the MBA program, and who is a class ahead of me.
• Spoken at length (over 2 hours) with the course mentor
• Found some materials online to read to try and find definitions of the terms used in this class to try and make sense of them.  (This is difficult because I really need someone to relay the information to the simulation.)
• Posted a question on the WGU Student Forum.  (Where 
• I was accused of not wanting to put forth the work to actually learn the concepts.)
• Asked my friends for help.  (You can throw a stone and hit a lawyer in Austin but apparently not an MBA.)

What else am I supposed to do?  Any suggestions?  I really don't think that it's lack of trying, that I haven't been able to finish this class sooner.  I'm at my wit's end.  I have until March 1 to finish this class or else I will be kicked out of class, my financial aid will run out, and I will have lost my chance to finish in less than 18 months.  

Forward?

There is a saying in the world of runners, "Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional".  (I'm not sure who said it, but trust me I hear this from other runners.)  Based upon that, I am choosing to suffer with this class.  Seriously!  What's wrong with me?  

The course mentor for Supply Chain and I had an hour long chat a few days ago.  He actually wasn't as much of a tool as I thought he was.  (Hey, I might make snap judgments, but at least I'm willing to admit when I'm wrong and change my opinion.  Give me some credit, please?)  We talked through some of what was causing so much strife for me.  Basically, I just don't get it.  I don't understand the terms that are used in the simulation, therefore I can't write a coherent paper about it.  He actually empathized with me and said that some of the questions (tasks) could definitely be written more clearly.

Ok, so now what's my excuse to get off my patooty and turn this damn thing in?  Nothing.  That's right.  Only yours truly is in the way.  Perhaps it's like running and I'm just out of practice.  I need to give myself a break, but push through the discomfort.  (Side note, I've recently discovered this TV show, "Gossip Girl".  Oh my goodness, it's so bad it's good!  Anyway, I have season 1 on DVD from the library and I'm using that as my reward for turning this $%&#ing paper in.)

My resolve to continue with this class and this school continues to be challenged.  I was able to speak with Davis, the student mentor who is a few weeks ahead of me in the MBA program, however, I am still unsure about anything related to this course.  Never have I been this frustrated for this long with a class before.

I received some feedback about my blog from a reader and I have to say that YOU really made the difference for me.  More than anything, you gave me encouragement when I desperately needed it.  YOU made me re-think my priorities and how I could look at myself in the mirror, knowing that I let this stupid #@&! simulation de-rail my progress towards my MBA.  You have my deepest gratitude for reaching out to a stranger with your heart-felt words that touched me so much.  THANK YOU 

I have been sick for two solid weeks now.  I started to feel a bit stuffy as I sat in my 4th row seat at Lambeau Field on 12.25, by 6:30AM the next day, my flight out of Milwaukee to Baltimore hastened it.  (Go Pack!)  Three days later, my Southwest flights from Baltimore to Austin, which included stops in New Orleans and Houston didn't help either.   (Don't judge, it was the cheapest flight...er flights.  Besides, I'm frugal...that's one reason I attend WGU!)  I'm not sure if it started as a cold and has now turned in to allergies.  (Despite living in Austin for almost 8 years, I've been lucky to have escaped allergies thus far.)  Regardless, I'm finally feeling better and oh does it feel good to feel good!

Since I've been sick, despite my best efforts, I've not been able to work on school at all.  I was, however, shocked, and I do mean shocked when, late last week, I received an email from Davis, a mentor at WGU who just finished the Supply Chain.  He contacted me on behalf of my student mentor, Kelly.  Holy sh!t!  Kelly actually followed up on something.  

My ever supportive hubby got some accounting books for me from the library, so I'm going to see if I can't figure out some of the concepts from those to apply to my papers.  I'm leaving town on Thursday so it's my goal to get at least the first paper re-submitted by then.  

Again, to the reader who took the time to send me a note of encouragement, thank you, gracias, danke, merci beaucoup!  

Forward!

The past couple of weeks, I've been not thinking about WGU.  I needed a break.  I needed to let my sub-conscious help me decide whether or not I should continue with my MBA at WGU.  At last, I received Task 1 from the Supply Chain course back, with the lowest scores that I've ever received on a task.  No, I did not expect to pass, and if I had, I'd be quite disappointed in the graders because it was not my best work, and it was not graduate level work.  I knew this, but I didn't know what else to add to the paper, and since I wasn't getting any feedback from the course mentor, I needed some, any feedback.

The break was good.  I tried to quell the urge to work on my paper while I was away because I knew that I really needed a break and I was so thankful that I didn't have to endure a painful conversation about the new hardwood floors in her house. What I have been thinking about is something Jay and I have been talking about next summer.  There is a running race in Death Valley, CA that I've wanted to do for about the past 5 years or so.  It's 135 miles from Death Valley to the base of Mt. Whitney.  It's a "bucket list" race, one that is going to take an enormous amount mental fortitude to get through.  Mental toughness is something that I've struggled with lately.  Running 135 miles in the desert makes it a necessity.  

This Supply Chain simulation is basically the equivalent of developing a blister while running in Death Valley.  Am I going to give up and quit, or am I going to pop that sucker and put some Super Glue on it and keep on truckin'?  

I'm also reading a book called Hell on Two Wheels which is a true story that chronicles the Race Across America (RAAM).   RAAM is a 3,000 (yes, three thousand) mile bike race which starts in Oceanside, CA and finishes in Annapolis, MD.  It makes my little jaunt in the desert seem easy in comparison.  Would these dudes and dudettes (be nice, like I grew up in the 80s!) quit because they got an owie?  I think not!

Am I going to quit on my dream of becoming the first person in my family to not only have a bachelors degree, but also a masters because these past two course mentors have been horrible, because I got a paper back, or because right now, I can't figure out how to proceed?  There is a saying in ultramarathoning, "If you feel good when you're running, don't worry, that'll change".  Well it can change for the better, too.  In the scheme of getting my MBA, once it's all over, I'm (hopefully) not even going to remember this simulation or these crap-tastic course mentors.  (But I can blog about them!  Hah!)

Basically, I need to do what the course mentor suggested, and give specific examples from the supply chain simulation.  (See my previous post if you have any question as to how I feel about the simulation.)  I don't yet understand the concepts presented in the simulation, thus I can't apply them, which means I can't analyze and articulate them in to responses for the tasks.  Yes, I've read the assigned text books, as well as looked for other sources, but it's difficult since they don't directly apply to the simulation.  What I need is someone who's done it, or who is doing it, to walk me through the consequences of my actions in the simulation.  


After a two week hiatus from speaking with Kelly, she called today.  (35 minutes late, with no explanation.) I decided that I didn't have much to lose by telling her the truth.  I got her basic response of putting the entire burden on me.  I don't think she took me seriously at first that I was thinking about quitting.  I pressed her though, because I was feeling pretty hopeless about WGU.  I didn't tell her that I'd changed my attitude.  Since she doesn't follow through on things normally, I needed to try another approach to see if she'd actually take any action.